By Ritch | September 24, 2009
Hallelujah! 5 days rehearsing and six gigs straight and I’m well and truly ready for a day off. Just a couple of hours on the train and I’m back home in the company of my amazing kids and my beautiful wife. The day is over far too soon and before I know it it’s stupid o’clock in the morning and I’m being dragged from my blissful slumber, not by the over enthusiastic driving of our good man Russ, or the smell coming from Dunk’s bunk. It’s my wife alerting me that both kids are awake, and we need all hands on deck. So half asleep and on autopilot I tend to my fatherly duties then get straight back into bed just in time to have woken up enough to not be able to get back to sleep! And so it bloody begins! I wonder what’s going to be on the menu of tonight’s little midnight thinkathon? But without even realizing I’m already up to the second verse of Woman In Chains by Tears for Fears. Well! On any night up until this week I would have immediately questioned why the uncomforting sounds of the 80’s electro pop/rock duo had found its way into the bleak twilight wilderness of my sleepy little mind. But tonight there happens to be a perfect explanation for it. Our sound engineer, Shirt, when turning up at a new venue has an early afternoon ritual that involves playing a song that he is sonically very familiar with, at full volume through the PA system, firstly in order to see how the PA system sounds and performs, and secondly to tune/eq the PA system in a way which would most benefit the evening’s performance. I have to admit it’s a very professional approach. But unfortunately, the fact that it’s being played at full volume means that anyone within the building, that happens to be subjected to said ritual on a daily basis is, at some point in the not too distant bloody future, going to find themselves, whether they like it or not, singing said bloody song. But no! I’m not going to fight it. I need to sleep. It’s a dreamy little number and in fact, if I let it run its course, chances are I’ll just be dropping off nicely as it gets to the ‘so free her’ bit towards the end. But of course, one song isn’t adequate enough to test a PA system is it! Crudely halfway through, Woman In Chains explodes into Staring At The Rude Bois by The Gallows. Which is hardly conducive to the gentle fade into lullaby lala land I was hoping for! So now I’m wide awake and wondering why is it that the brain would choose to go with the version of Woman In Chains that abruptly edits into The Gallows, rather than the full unedited, how it was meant to be version. You know, with the so free her bit that I’m so keen to get to. Well it’s probably for the same reason that whenever Rat Trap pops into my head, instead of completing the song, I reach the line where my old 7” vinyl single had a scratch, (that same single that I last played probably getting on for 30 years ago) and it goes exactly like that – work all the hours god gave me to get myself a little get myself a little get myself a little get myself a little get myself a little etc. Why does that do that? Which then leads me thinking about the time in America with GTA when I was on driving duty and just kept on going until we reached our destination, about 10 hours I drove for that night, through mountains, forests, snow storms, hail, ice, fog. You name it we drove through it. Eventually we arrived at our destination, a shitty little motel in bumblefuck nowhere. I climb out of the van and straight into bed. I happen to be room sharing with Jay our singer on this particular night. I lay there for a short time trying to get to sleep then ask Jay, “How the fuck am I gonna get to sleep? I’m completely fucking wired from the journey, all the booze is gone and everywhere is shut” Jay replies, “This may help” and then starts singing at the top of his voice: “Got myself a cryin’ talkin’ slpeepin’ walkin’ living doll.“ And my next few hours were spent looping that song round and round and round and… free her, so free her so free her. Oh excellent! Closure! The end of the song. Now all I need to do is avoid all musical mentalmorphosis, stick with the outro and just let it drift on and on and on and on and on… and… on… and…… on…… and……… on……… and Ariston. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! Needless to say I had a shit night’s sleep and am now hoping to get through the Birmingham show without the aid of anything other than pure adrenalin.
Hmmm! I wonder if Ginger has any of that crystal meth left from Exeter?