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Fish? And Chips

By Ritch | August 30, 2009

Strange butterfly feelings in my stomach. It could only be one of two things. It’s either because we’re about to go on tour and play a load of new songs I don’t remember how to play, and I am going to have to start learning all over. Or I’m pregnant!…………..Again!

I rush to the laptop and on my way to the Wildhearts tour page I get sidetracked and disappear down a very wobbly pathway. There’s an RAC van coming right towards me, and the driver is looking very, very sad and depressed. I’d say he was on his way to a breakdown.

After perusing the comforting pages of www.don’tbesostoopidofcoursemencan’tgetpregnanttwice.co.uk I conveniently reappear at my original destination only to find I’ve got some bloody homework to do. Well there’s no time like the present. I’m about 3 bars into the 1st song when my simple little mind goes skip, skip, skipping off and before I know it I’m thinking about last nights fish and chips. Mr. C’s! The pride of Yorkshire. Well it was a very pleasant supper but I can’t stop thinking about the texture of that fish being just a little bit too similar to that of chicken. (not that hat’s a bad thing, ‘oh no’!) (In the voice of the Churchill dog) Then I start wondering if Mr. C has a little secret. And what does that C really stand for. It’s Mr. bloody Chicken! I knew it! I knew there was something funny going on.

I wake with a bloated belly and to the sound of my son crying like a baby (he’s allowed to, he’s 17 months old). I realize that I actually know all the songs very well. Still not sure about that fish though!

4 Responses to “Fish? And Chips”

  1. Chris Scully Says:
    August 30th, 2009 at 07:36

    OK how many clicked to see if that website was real?
    ….Yeah, me either.

  2. tezzabloke Says:
    August 30th, 2009 at 08:26

    that websites awesome,i will certainly not become pregnant once again now!!at the age of 38 i can now rest easy that my man boobs and podge is only due to weetabix sarnies and strongbow.cheers!!!

  3. dizzyblonde Says:
    August 31st, 2009 at 01:16

    I wish men would get pregnant instead of women. Then, I’d never have to think about it!

  4. Gallifrey Seven Says:
    September 2nd, 2009 at 14:52


    A genuine site for people with genuine calendar-based disabilities.


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