Take the food, for example. The mysterious, multi textured, multi-shaped, multi-coloured smörgåsbord that is a Bento Box can repel and delight in equal measure, depending on who is savouring its hidden treasures. A table/box full of assorted tastes and visual treats is my idea of heaven. The thought of putting something unknown into my mouth on the recommendation of Japanese hosts fills me with a joy that Xmas used to, about 30 years ago. And it is always, without exception, a culinary masterpiece jam packed with exotic flavour.

And the drinks? Last night I was drinking sho-chu (a strong wine made of wheat) mixed with vinegar and plum, and was made to feel like I’d just discovered alcohol again. Scott has got himself an addiction to sho-chu and oolong tea. And who could blame him? Without the bloated feeling of beer or the potentially hair trigger drunk that liquor can spring this stuff takes a while to get you there and is thoroughly delicious every step of the way. And all without the tiredness that drinking red wine can sometimes have on an evening out with friends.

Then there are the streets. A smoker’s dream. Nowhere else in the world are there so many people puffing on cigarettes. Indoors, outdoors. Young and old. Everyone is smoking tabs. And not to look hard.

People are also dressed in amazing clothing. Some merely stylish to the max and others kitted out in the kind of get up that American movies tell us people will wear 100 years in the future. And why the Hell not? Every store in Tokyo, no matter what they’re selling, from shoes to garden equipment, sells it with cute cartoons the likes of which are only seen by Western eyes on kids telly.

Society is structured on traditional values steeped in Buddhism therefore everyone takes pride in making the whole work effectively by governing themselves in a proper and respectful manner. Crime, while existing, is an organised and honourable vocation that the criminally minded can aspire to. There’s never been an ASBO written for a young thug here, the perks are just too great.

And then, of course, there are the fans. Loyal, respectful and diligent, they follow with patient tenacity, biding their time, determined to get a photo or autograph or presenting gifts laced with imagination and origami packaging.

And when collected in a venue, the cleanliness of which is completely alien to someone whose apprenticeship was served treading the beer and puke sodden boards of shit pits that make up most of the UK touring circuit, the noise they make is an ode to joy itself. Shrill and completely testosterone free the Japanese crowd makes a whistling squeal that sounds like a thousand kettles collectively and positively thrilled to make tea. Orgasmic and life affirming. This sound is one of the many reasons why The Wildhearts have stayed together for so long.

After a kick ass show at the Tokyo Liquid Rooms I’m startled to hear music business types charting out a three year plan of how the style of music will follow the current recession, based on previous recessions and the resulting shifts in style. The Japanese, it’s fair to say, aren’t a race of moaners.

Our hosts, the lovely Kaoru and the wonderful Coach, of Vinyl Junkie, follow us everywhere to make sure that we are looked after and the shows go off without a single hitch. Not many managing directors of record labels have this much of a relationship with the musicians they work with, maybe that’s part of the reason why the music industry over here is in such great shape?

In summary, I love this place. Fucking love it.

And it would appear, after 15 years of being invited back, that the feeling is entirely mutual.

Argita Gozai Mas, Banzai, Yopporai, let’s get high.

Gx

Ah! How cute I think to myself as I correct her telling her it’s gingerbread man. “No Daddy, it’s gingerbread person”

I scan the counter of all things yummy and there, wedged between the cheese straws and yum yums are a few familiar looking fellows advertised as ‘gingerbread persons’

Now I’ve been giving this some thought, and the only reason I can think of why anyone could possibly be offended by a gingerbread man being called a gingerbread man is that it may seem presumptuous of someone to name a gingerbread man a man when it could have actually been created as a woman.

But then surely the baker who’s selling the gingerbread men is well aware of the sex of his ginger biscuits. His train of thought must go something like – “right then, now I’ve finished the muffins, I better get on with making the gingerbread men.”

So there’s absolutely no question about it, they’re definitely male. So why call them persons?

Anyway, the fact that it was eaten before I’d even paid for it leads me to believe that, all names aside, they’re still as tasty as ever.

Speaking of which, did anyone notice how tasty our London show was? I thought we were rather excellent.

Tokyo, bring it on!

6th October – Tokyo Liquid-room
7th October – Nagoya Club Quattro
8th October – Osaka Big Cat

At all shows, doors open 18:30 with a 19:30 start.

See Smash-Jpn for full ticket details.

The details are:

23rd November 2008
Earth Vs The Wildhearts Live
Akasaka Blitz , Tokyo, Japan
OPEN : 18:00 / START : 19:00
http://smash-jpn.com/band/2008/11_wildhearts/index.php

Setlists as follows:

Zepp Tokyo – 1st Dec 2003 1. Nexus Icon 2. Suckerpunch 3. Vanilla Radio 4. Everlone 5. Someone That Won’t Let Me Go 6. Stormy In The North, Karma In The South 7. Nothing Ever Changes But The Shoes 8. Top of the World 9. O.C.D. 10. Jonesing For Jones 11. GiNGER Solo 1 12. Caffeine Bomb 13. GiNGER Solo 2 14. Action Panzer 15. GiNGER Solo 3(Riff) 16. My Baby Is A Headfuck 17. Caprice encore 18. I Wanna Go Where The People Go 19. Sky Babies 20. Love U ‘Till I Don’t

Club Citta – 2nd Dec 2003 1. Nexus Icon 2. Suckerpunch 3. Vanilla Radio 4. Get Your Groove On 5. Everlone 6. Someone That Won’t Let Me Go 7. Stormy In The North, Karma In The South 8. Woah Shit, You Got Through 9. Top of the World 10. O.C.D. 11. Jonesing For Jones 12. GiNGER Solo 13. Caffeine Bomb 14. Action Panzer 15. Nita Nitro 16. Caprice encore 17. Nothing Ever Changes But The Shoes 18. I Wanna Go Where The People Go 19. Love U ‘Till I Don’t

Osaka – Club Quattro – 3rd Dec 2003 1. Nexus Icon 2. Suckerpunch 3. Vanilla Radio 4. Get Your Groove On 5. Everlone 6. Someone That Won’t Let Me Go 7. Stormy In The North, Karma In The South 8. Woah Shit, You Got Through 9. Top of the World 10. Jonesing For Jones 11. O.C.D. 12. Caffeine Bomb 13. GiNGER Solo 14. Action Panzer 15. Caprice encore 16. I Wanna Go Where The People Go 17. My Baby is a headfuck 18. Nothing Ever Changes But The Shoes 19. Sick of drugs 20. Dangerlust 21. Sky Babies

Nagoya – Club Quattro 4th Dec 2003 1. Get Your Groove On 2. Suckerpunch 3. Vanilla Radio 4. Everlone 5. Stormy In The North, Karma In The South 6. Woah Shit, You Got Through 7. Top of the World 8. O.C.D. 9. Nita Nitro 10. Jonesing For Jones 11. Caffeine Bomb 12. Action Panzer 13. Caprice encore 14. Nothing Ever Changes But The Shoes 15. I Wanna Go Where The People Go 16. Love U til I don’t

1/12/03: Tokyo – Zepp Club
2/12/03: Kawasaki – Club Citta
3/12/03: Osaka – Club Quattro
4/12/03: Nagoya – Club Quattro