Lightbulb jokes

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Lightbulb jokes

Postby lost johnny » 29th Apr 11, 14:55

The classic joke...but with a musical twist. Only music themed versions permitted here.

Here's your starter:

Q - How many gangsta rappers does it take to change a light bulb?
A – None, one of his bitches does it for him.

Anyone got any others?
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Re: Lightbulb jokes

Postby VladDracii » 29th Apr 11, 15:31

Seeing as I am going to see Rush....

How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to screw the bulb in, and four to talk about how much better
Neil Peart coulda done it.
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Re: Lightbulb jokes

Postby Stuart Brackpool » 29th Apr 11, 16:03

Can't say I'm a football fan, but...

How many Manchester United fans does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb and the other to drive him up from London.
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Re: Lightbulb jokes

Postby spoon_of_grimbo » 30th Apr 11, 00:35

How many indie-rock fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

It's an obscure number, you've probably never heard of it...
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Re: Lightbulb jokes

Postby lost johnny » 30th Apr 11, 20:40

VladDracii wrote:Seeing as I am going to see Rush....

How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to screw the bulb in, and four to talk about how much better
Neil Peart coulda done it.


Q - How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
A – Sixteen, one to hold the bulb and fifteen to run round in circles ‘til the room spins.

Let me know how Rush were - couldn't justify the ticket price this time round [but am an old geezer, so saw the original Moving Pictures tour].
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Re: Lightbulb jokes

Postby beerofthedark » 3rd May 11, 12:58

Q: How many hair-metal singers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One, he just holds it up and expects the world to revolve around him.

And similarly:
Q: How do you know when a lead singer's at the door?
A: He's got the wrong key and doesn't know when to come in.
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Re: Lightbulb jokes

Postby lost johnny » 3rd May 11, 19:47

Arf! Good one. To keep things going, here's my next offering:

Q - How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?
A - Two - one to change it and one to sing about how good the old one was.
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Re: Lightbulb jokes

Postby blackdeathcrew » 4th May 11, 09:32

How many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

5, one to change the bulb and 4 to get in free because they know the guy who owns the socket
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Re: Lightbulb jokes

Postby lost johnny » 4th May 11, 20:52

Nice, one for S*m*n C*w*ll:

Q - How many boy-band members does it take to change a light bulb?
A - Five, one fat semi-talented one to change the light bulb and four gormless pretty boys to do some piss-poor break dancing in the background.
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Re: Lightbulb jokes

Postby GingerPimpernel » 19th May 11, 21:01

How many people from Grangemouth does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, folk that glow in the dark don't need bulbs.

Spoiler: show
Grangemouth is home to a massive chemical plant. Basically replace Grangemouth with your nearest town to have that or a nuclear plant or something.
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Re: Lightbulb jokes

Postby markE » 20th Jun 12, 11:07

spoon_of_grimbo wrote:How many indie-rock fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

It's an obscure number, you've probably never heard of it...

:bang:
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Re: Lightbulb jokes

Postby markE » 20th Jun 12, 11:09

How many hippies did it take to change a lightbulb at Woodstock?

You don't know, coz you weren't there maaan :wtf:
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Re: Lightbulb jokes

Postby lost johnny » 21st Jun 12, 19:47

Arf! I didn't expect this thread to come back to life...
"I'm living in a nightmare she's looking like a wet dream
I got myself a Cadillac but I can't afford the gasoline."
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Re: Lightbulb jokes

Postby Damian » 16th Dec 12, 16:31

How many sound engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?

One hundred and twenty one thousand, two hundred and twelve.
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