5th December 1999
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Re: Clam Abuse. We could understand you maybe being
tired and quitting the game, now that the world has heard what you have to say.
We could even understand you making the money and quitting (in a warped kind of
way). But if you turn your back on your own beliefs for something shallow, and
fuck with the minds of your admirers, then you are cheating not only them but
yourself as well. And, most importantly, everything you have shouted about all
your life will have been for nothing. No matter what you do, you should always
be true to yourself. Take it from one who knows, once you have dreamt about
sleeping with Satan there is no way back.
Jim & Katrina
For God's sake, isn't anyone allowed to have fun anymore? You are young and in a great place in your life, please don't blow it by thinking you know too much about life. It's gonna take you by surprise every time, and the only thing you will have to fall back on is your sense of humour. I've often heard that no one likes a miserable bastard, and the same applies to people who don't like other people having a good time. No one was forced to buy Clam Abuse, and everyone is entitled to take it back to the shop and get a credit note to buy something they really want. But the thing I don't get is this pre-occupation regarding my 'authenticity' and reputation. The circumstances leading up to the decision to record a 'comedy' record are personal and concern no one but myself, and God forbid you ever find yourself in that position. But I can't understand how selfish some of the fans have been concerning that record - a record that I personally love.
I, as an artist and writer, have worked harder for my fans than any other musician I know and still I have people, like you, complaining about some tiny little shit that makes you sound like you're just looking for something to complain about. Don't try and look for problems otherwise you will become very unpopular, and annoying, very quickly.
If you want nothing from me other than rock records then please beware when buying a new disc of mine (if you decide to do this) and read the small print. I plan on making many records in my life and they are not going to sound the same. This is the manifesto I set down for myself when The Wildhearts first started, and I will continue to uphold that tradition.
I used to like you about four years ago, now you
suck.
Eggypants... who heroically left a
false email address
Eggypants? By continued, unashamed use of a name like that I deduce that you're around ten or 11 years of age. That means you must have been six or seven in the days before I sucked. You were far too young to be listening to The Wildhearts then, and should now be getting into girls instead of trying to annoy me. Be off with you and tidy your room.
Are you mates with any of the members of these
bands: Fatboy Slim, Bis, Suede, Motley Crue, Therapy?, The Wildhearts (ha ha
ha), Chemical Brothers or Propellerheads?
Francisca De Paula Barbie Gosalvez
I don't really like musicians on the whole. I find they're usually pretty one-dimensional and semi-retarded when talking about anything but music. I'm friends with the guys from Therapy?, and Nikki from Motley. And I'm sure the rest of the bands mentioned are lovely boys and girls. But I never understood the 'musicians hanging out with musicians' thing. It would be a bit weird to have plumbers or shop assistants sharing an exclusive table in a club. I think musicians can sometimes think of themselves as royalty. Don't believe the hype, they're only doing a job.
What the hell does 'RSVP' mean in Message
To Geri?
Francisca De Paula Barbie
Gosalvez
RSVP is French, and it means 'get back in touch'.
When you were in America, did you listen to the
Howard Stern show? If so, what did you think of him?
Ollie Johnstone
I love the Howard Stern show. It got kinda boring on TV (American TV cannot get its shit together to show naked women... what's wrong with you people?), but the radio show is a blast. He is the world's greatest Jew, and has been an inspiration on more than one occasion.
I was thinking about 29 x The Pain, and I have to
say that you releasing that song has got me into so many bands - Husker Du
(Candy Apple Grey is amazing), Stiff Little Fingers, Jason And The Scorchers
and Cheap Trick (to name but a few). Was that what you hoped for? Because I can
tell you that the song has had the same effect on a lot of people I've
talked to, and that's got to be a good thing! Finally, which version of
He's A Whore is your fave, Big Black's or Cheap Trick's (or maybe
even The Wildhearts')?
James
Kerruish
It was definitely a desire of mine to get people into the bands mentioned in 29 x The Pain. I didn't know if it was gonna work, but I tell ya, it sure feels good when it does. Of course my favourite version of He's A Whore is Cheap Trick's one. They're the godfathers.
Is it true that 'p.h.u.q.' actually stands
for something, or is that just bullshit generated by hearsay?
Row
No, it doesn't stand for anything except high quality value for money.
At the end of your song In Like Flynn there's
someone talking, but I can't make head nor tail of what they're on
about. I was wondering whether you could shed some light on this. Also, is
Friend For Five minutes about anyone in particular?
Lee & Nat
It's a guy who talks on Japanese radio. We just liked his voice, so we ripped it off. Since then I've become a bit of a fan and listen to him every time I'm in Tokyo. He mentions the life of the real Henry Higgins and talks about him "walking around in an idolatrous [look it up] daze". Pete and Chris from (the very new at the time) 3 Colours Red attended the studio when we recorded the song (Pete's favourite, by the way) and the next day sent me a 'Happy Idolatrous Day' card.
Friend for Five Minutes is about cocaine.
I was wondering how long you played with the
Quireboys, and if you ever recorded with them. Your own style is so different
to theirs, and it seems strange to think that you were once a member of the
band. Also, I was wondering how you did your dreadlocks. I've tried
unsuccesfully in the past and thought maybe you'd share the
secret.
Wiz
I recorded two EPs with the Quireboys, Mayfair and There She Goes Again. And believe me, the Quireboys sounded a lot different when I was playing with them. I love rock 'n' roll, and back then that's exactly what they sounded like. Only they would give me constant grief for my guitar being too heavy.
My hair sort of naturally goes into dreadlocks, being so thick. Straight hair will never really happen that way, and if you've got straight hair you should be lucky! I always wanted dead straight black hair, but God didn't agree with the design, hence the raggy mess I ended up with. You've got to twist the things every day for about six weeks, don't wash it until they start to take, then the secret to making them tight is washing them. They take a lot more care and effort than you'd think.
I know it's early days yet, but are you
planning on playing any Wildhearts tunes when you tour as
SilverGinger?
Scott
Phillips
I'll no doubt be playing a number of Wildhearts songs live (the album won't fill a full headlining set), as well as all sorts of other songs. Imagine how entertained you could possibly be, times it by about 100, and you're getting warm. It's my job to entertain, and entertained you most certainly will be. By God, yes.
I've just recorded a 14-minute song. What's
the longest song you've written and recorded?
Gaar Sheepdug
The longest song I've ever recorded is Sky Babies. Don't know exactly how long it is, but that's not the point. There are classical pieces that last for over an hour and make me believe I can fly, and blues jams that go on for days that make me wanna cut my ears off.
Have you heard Mike Ness's solo album? If so,
what do you think of it?
JJ
I've never heard Mike Ness's solo album nor much Social Distortion. I don't know why, I guess it's just never been around me. He seems like a really cool bloke from what people that know him tell me. I've heard he helps people stay off the wagon and stuff like that, a very selfless and truly rare characteristic these days. I'd really like to meet the guy one day.
I remember a few years ago you were talking about a
movie script that you wrote. What happened to the idea?
Michael McGettigan
The movie script I was talking about (I've written two) will, with luck, go into production next year.
I once read that whenever you go to Wales you carry
a knife around with you. OK, so it`s probably the old 'don't believe
the press' thing again...
Martyn
Goss
Wherever you read that, it must have been published a long time ago. I used to carry a knife around with me everywhere, a long time ago, when I was a young dickhead.
Do you realise that your bands are practically the
only ones to visit the North East when you tour? I live in South Shields and I
have to go to places like Bradford to see concerts.
Phil Grainger
Actually, I didn't know that! Seeing as the Geordies have always been the wildest audience in Britain, I can't quite figure it out. Maybe it's something to do with the fact that people tend to be a bit nervous coming to Newcastle. Puffs.
Have you heard any of the material from Ritchie's
new band, The Infidels? If so, what did you think?
James Appleyard
Yes, I have. And I can officially say that it's fucking great. If they aren't one of the biggest bands in the country next year then there is no hope for Britain and we don't deserve anything better than the half-arsed 'rock-lite' that's been force fed to us for the last three or four years. Put it another way, if they were an American band you could bet your mother's pension on them.
Did you see the results of HMV's Music Of The
Millennium poll? If so, what did you think of the farcical
decisions?
Karl Bodden
Since when have award ceremonies been a true indication of what's going on? Don't get too upset by idiots or else you could end up being the worst idiot of them all. Love your music and believe what you believe.
As you're into horror films, have you seen The
Texas Chain Saw Massacre yet? If so, what did you think of it?
Phil Christopher
I saw The Texas Chain Saw Massacre a long time ago, and I'm sure it still scares the shit out of people just as effectively now as it did then. It's a magnificent movie, and will be around freaking people out long after Scream and all those bollocks movies are rotten and forgotten. And it also stands as one of the (very) few moments of greatness that director Tobe Hooper actually showed on film.
Due to your rock and roll lifestyle, have you
shagged loads of groupies? How many? Are we talking hundreds here? Also, have
you picked up anything from them you wished you hadn't?
Dougal
Sure I've picked up a few things. Hair and makeup tips mainly.
What was your dream when you were a little child?
Also, when you were a teenager, what kind of jobs did you have?
Tsuyoshi Takano
When I was a little kid my dream was to make music and get a record deal. It was unheard of at the time for someone from South Shields (my home town) to move to London and become successful, and a lot of people laughed at me, including my teachers. I promised I'd return to my school and show them my first album for a major label, and be on 'Top Of The Pops'... well, I got on TOTP a few times, and when I had an album on Warner records I couldn't be bothered to go back to school! Dreams come true. I'm proof.
Teenage jobs? I used to deliver newspapers, and then I worked in a butchers' shop. After that I moved on to painting huge pictures on walls, digging up Roman forts, making cigarettes, making leather goods, and a few jobs far too depressing to talk about!
What happened to the songs you wrote for Alice
Cooper? Is he going to use them on his new CD?
Scott Chamberlain
I don't think Alice Cooper even received the songs I recorded for him. Or maybe he just didn't like them... or even worse, he's trying to sound like an industrial goth bloke (barf). It was a simple case of 'if you want something doing, do it yourself', a lesson that one has to keep fucking up to learn. Who says being an idiot doesn't pay off?
I was just wondering if you like Kula Shaker. They
made an awesome record, but it didn't sell well so they split. What a
pity!
Daisuke Inagaki
Kula Shaker were the worst band in the history of 'average sounding spoiled brat losers'. Even writing the name makes me want to wash my fingertips. Did you know that a 'kuls shaker', in old English language, means 'that tiny bit of shit that never comes out, no matter how hard you push' when you are on the toilet?
Is Lilly, as referred to on p.h.u.q., meant to
represent a real person? To me, she's a kind of symbol of beauty and
tranquility that we can only sometimes, very briefly, touch.
Rob Smith
Lilly was the old woman that lived downstairs to the flat that I used to share with Ray Zell. It was her garden that we used to bury our dead pets in. She was a wonderful Geordie lass that had lived through two World Wars and took zero shit from anybody. She looked upon us as her guardians, a task that we thoroughly relished.
Tell us all about when you got caught by aliens.
I'd like to know what happened and how these events there inspired you to
write Sky Babies.
Lee
Hutcheon
I never said I was 'caught' by aliens. There was something very weird about a UFO incident that I experienced when I was a little kid, but until I remember something specific about it I can't say for definite that there was any actual alien contact.
What was your favourite Wildhearts song to play
live? My band are gonna do a Wildhearts cover on our spring tour. Any
recommendations?
Scott
Andrews
My favourite song to play live was probably Everlone, because it has so many bits to lose yourself to. But it's kinda hard to play some of the parts, so if you want something simpler try Caffeine Bomb. It's a lot easier to play than it sounds.
Forgive my stupidity, but there was a Tim Smith
that played in a later incarnation of Jellyfish. This isn't the same one
that's doin' your record, is it? Probably not, I suspect.
Sam Weller
Nope, the Tim Smith I'm working with has never been a member of Jellyfish. It amazes me that millions of people don't know who this guy is yet! Y'know, Beethoven, Frank Zappa, Tim Smith....
As a writer (I have a book coming out in March and
I write feature stories for the Chicago Tribune), I think you are a phenomenal
wordsmith - really clever with a fast, sharp wit and a knack for making up
fabulous words. "Limp dick corporaphilia" is one of my favourites
(see liners to Anthem: The Single Tracks). I wanna rip that one off! Who are
your favourite writers?
Sam
Weller
Ah, a writer commends me! That's very cool indeed, thanks. My favourite writers are Irvine Welsh, Jim Goad, Chas Balun, Oliver Sacks, and Steve Albini (cartoon books don't count, do they?). But I have loved quite a few books from one-off writers. Unfortunately, as soon as I finish a great book I get an irresistible urge to make someone else read it. Hence the loss of many great books. Still it's all passing on the word, isn't it?
